Monday, March 16, 2009

Finally - SPAM You Can Believe In!!

So, it is 1am and I open my email to find the following email from Serge G (and I quote):
"IT IS NOT A SPAM, but if you received that message second and plus time JUST CLICK DELETE button and have a nice day. Don't feel bad, please understand original Scarlett's family very desperate to shut down that humiliating antichristian "actress" clones line career development. Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen! I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson ?actress? actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career, surname Galabekian, because of adoption happened in 1992. Clones was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady!"
OK, so the real Scarlett is a nice CHRISTIAN young lady. Not sure what "d**n" sexy means, but she's not it! Evidently in Germany, these clones have be going on for a while now. Excellent. Some mention of Nazi involvement, because, come on, in 2009, Germany and Nazis still go hand in freakin' hand, right?

What the f**k? (f**k I understand!). This SPAM is not even asking me for anything. Not money. Not information. Nothing. Nada. I guess it is just a friendly warning about the evils of cloning and a warning to beware of Scarlett Johansson, since she is evidently not who we think she is.

Oh, fair Scarlett Johansson. You clone temptress from 33 movies since 1994. If I cannot believe in you and your scary talent (since you are a clone), then who can I believe in? LiLo? (that's Lindsay Lohan to you non-abbrevs). Don't make me go over to Keira or Dame Winslet (oh, sorry, I just time-warped into the future when Dame Winslet is the biggest and bestest actress ever!). But back to our fair, sad, clone - Scarlett. I knew I couldn't trust you in "Home Alone 3" or "Eight Legged Freaks"! Now I hear you're playing "Natasha Romanoff" in "Iron Man 2" - a Rusky with a hidden identity! You clones cannot be trusted.

You must be stopped!

And to make matters oh so worse, my friend, the Nigerian Prince, will be quite disappointed that this SPAMmer is doing it wrong!

Oh well. At least I got a blog out of it.

(P.S. Paul McCartney is STILL dead. Ignore the past 43 years of music!)

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