Wednesday, July 29, 2009
July 29 - Conflicted Memories
Recently, I've begun to encounter some scrambled memories. What are they?
I know for a fact that as a child, I was allergic to Chocolate and Peanuts. I know this because: I could only eat Frankenberry or BooBerry (not Count Chocula); Fruity Pebbles (not Cocoa Ps); Cream Cheese and Jelly Sandwiches were in my lunch box (not PB&J); White Chocolate Easter Bunnies were the norm, Strawberry Quik and Strawberry Shortcake Bars are all my norms. I endured seven years of allergy shots from Dr. Ravetz. The serum lived in our fridge (on the door) and we'd bring it with us to his office - sometimes twice a week for periods of time, sometimes less.
Yet as as I've been blogging and reminiscing in this blog more often, I remember: making chocolate milk with my Cocoa Puffs; eating Peanut Butter on Celery Sticks; trying to eat Peanuts (shell and all - I figured if Elephants could, so could I - blecch! I couldn't); Ice Cream Sandwiches as school. I remember trading my Halloween with Michael and Susan and accumulating as much chocolate as possible, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Nestlé Crunch Bars were my favorites (that would be a double no-no!).
So what gives? Both sets of memories are just as vivid, just as real - but only one can be right. My Mom denies my allergy, but I remember it... strongly. If I had my to choose, the Allergy Memories are the strongest.... but the I'm now remembering the others and they are growing. Can they possibly live side-by-side? Where is this discrepancy coming from? What's causing this gap in my linear thoughts. It feels as if I lived two different lives during the same time frame. I just don't understand. I am utterly conflicted.
Unfortunately, I have no pithy ending to this tale; no insight into what's going on... just this strange double set of memories, completely 180 degrees of each other.